Chris Savory
The Sheen Park DisasterPDFPrintE-mail
Wednesday, 27 July 2011 17:40
Written by Chris Savory

Oh the humanity!With so many of the squad living outside the county of Kent these days, Sheen Park is a fairly local game for many, one where the Kent boys have to worry about the long drive back and the subsequent late arrival home...most years anyway! Following the late withdrawal of Ian McCrea and the subsequent declaration of those on standby that their status should have read 'stood down', (where was Matt Hurley? I know for a fact he was available!!) Beechwood were forced to loan a Sheen Parker,  Mr. M. Dave (Sorry, no stats or info to work with and I'm bound to spell his Christian name wrong if I guess at it) to bring their number back up to eleven.

Talk was of a particularly strong Beechwood batting line-up for this occasion and with Adrian scheduled to bat at six, Tony at eight and erm... Boris at ten, it was hard to disagree. "Win the toss and bat, bat, bat," was the war cry from those who remembered how to actually hold a bat, and when Tony lost the toss but was still inserted, all was going to plan, Sheen's thinking was that there'd been a few low scores at the ground of late with the various strips being prone to misbehaviour. Two balls into our innings and Onkar's digit is being raised resulting in the unfortunate Mr. Dave trudging back to rejoin his considerable entourage amid much whooping and shrieking from his regular team-mates, (except from Garth off course, who has too much tact and Quinny, who'd had too much alcohol, apparently) the deadly Pete Brennan performing the snaring act. From then on in Beechwood were literally on the back foot for the remainder of the game. Fraser and Hamish were looking steady if far from fluent before inevitably falling foul of the 'deck', which would prove to be the significant performer in Beechwood's innings. Take nothing away from the Sheen bowlers... they hit their marks pretty well, trouble was, some of those marks resulted in double-bouncers or worse still, pea-rollers. I defy even Trevor Chappell to replicate some of the deliveries that went through, some inevitably collecting the stumps on the way.

The old guard of Tony and (especially) Adrian set about trying to thwart the carnage and Larry, batting at nine, smited a couple of blows, but the Beechwood tail, what their was of it, looked desperately out of sorts, missing slow straight ones to leave Adrian stranded. Incidentally, the guy who removed myself and Boris apparently has the wicket of a certain Stuart Law to his name... wonder which ones he dines out on?!... Beechwood were eventually dismissed for a paltry 64, scoring at two an over, and phone-calls were made to a certain KHM, en route to spectate, that it might be wise to u-turn there and then.

After tea it suddenly looked a different game, Beechwood opening their attack with Kolpak heavyweights Darren and Onkar, but Sheen's openers weren't going to die wondering and swung away at balls off the stumps - mostly genuine shots to be fair - and after six or seven overs the game was effectively over, and having resigned myself to this, took solace from the amusement of watching Boris's efforts at gathering Darren's, shall we say 'slightly quicker than brisk medium' deliveries, most of which were arriving second or third bounce with no noticeable diminishing of speed! Boris, you performed manfully!

Sheen's openers knocked off their total in something like 9.4 overs if memory serves, with debutant opener (sorry, still no info!) looking particularly impressive and unflustered and likely to get picked next week methinks... or perhaps we could nick one of theirs for a change?! Anyway, a horror show for Beechwood then, but at least we got to see Garth and Vanessa, and indeed all our old mates again. Man of the match was curiously waived which was unfortunate for Ade who'd have probably walked it... when we get four or five good performances we have to pick one,  (except the eccentrics who vote in fifths of course) but when there's effectively one candidate we cancel it... too much for 'Joey' here to comprehend. At least the quality of the catering at The Plough has not dropped...nor the prices sadly...  Re-match just a few weeks away, could be interesting...

Last Updated on Wednesday, 27 July 2011 17:43

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